here's how it all went down:

The morning of 9-10 I woke up and found a bloody show in the toilet. I had a feeling that it would be soon but that day at my appointment, the OBGYN said I probably wouldn’t go into labor for a few days. Michael and I left the office disappointed. It was raining out and I felt sick. I wanted to take a cab but we couldn’t find one so I walked to the Prince St. subway, stopping at Dean and Deluca and treating myself to some very non-diabetic treats. Back in Williamsburg, I did some errands—went to the post office etc, and got some middle eastern food to bring home. When I got home, I felt feverish, took a bath and then ate some dinner. Michael was at his third of three fantasy football drafts so I decided to try to sleep early but I suddenly had pain in my back. Was this a contraction? I had thought it would be in my stomach. The pain kept coming and I called Michael who said to call him back in 30 minutes. I took another bath and still felt pain so I called my mom. She was just about to go into a Robin Williams concert event with dad and said she would call at intermission. Then I called Michael again and told him to come home.

By that time I felt like I was leaking. When Michael arrived home, the whole bed under me was wet. We consulted the What to Expect book—was this water breaking? Were these contractions? It was confusing. I called Dr. Friedman who was on call and said if the contractions got closer to come to NYU. I decided to wait it out and let Michael sleep. I watched the clock and counted and finally decided it was time to go. I was in pain. We got into a car service, immediately fought about which corner the hospital was on and then rode in mostly silence. In triage the nurse started to do a test to see if my water broke, but one look under the sheet and she knew. They immediately put me into a very nice L&D room and assured me the epidural was on the way.

The epidural was a major relief. The nurse then turned off the light, it was about 3am, and Michael dozed while I waited. At some point Judy came into the room and then disappeared. Around 6am I needed more epidural and they checked me –I was about 7 mm. By this time, my parents were in the waiting room (they drove from DC in a rain storm)—as was Margot, Judy, Larry and Brook. An hour or so later I started pushing, which was the most painful experience of my life—it felt impossible. I really did not think I could push a baby out. The nurse and Dr. Friedman and Michael were rooting me on, really trying hard to make me be tough and push. I heard myself screaming, grunting, making animal sounds. I was sweating. I went very far inward, trying to make myself believe I could do what really seemed impossible. I fantasized about a C section and then just when I couldn’t push anymore, something slid out. And it was the most precious thing I've ever seen--it was Nate.