"Do I deserve this? I miss them, I should be there. What if…ok
I’m doing it. This is it. I love this. Oh my god I love it too much. This is
the moment-how do I maximize it! What if I just sit here in bed with my laptop?
Is that enough? I love this! I am me. How will I ever go back? What am I doing-just
browsing? Shopping?! This is fun. But frivolous. But nice. Ah. This is nice. Whoa!
Is it dark out already? How did that happen? I was just sitting here. I haven’t’
even struggled through playtime, fighting, 2 Nick Jr shows, bathtime and making
dinner. It’s just here-darkness. Time is a weird thing. Time is different
alone. I like this alone time. Should I get out of bed? Why? Because it’s dark!
So what. What do you have to do? I should clean or do laundry. I should sort the kids toys into categories. I feel guilty. Do I deserve this? I’ll call
them. I should be there. But oh my god I love this. Too much."