At this point -- Mack is 2 months old tomorrow -- I am starting to buckle under the strain of sleeplessness and Mack's difficulty. I feel deep shame that I'm not more patient during the late hours when I'm alone with him and he's shrieking during a feeding. I am too rough or dismissive with him. Shana has gotten stronger but I'm wilting. It's upsetting. "I've got nothin' left" I whisper to him, my tone cold. He shrieks because he can't get out a burp, or is uncomfortable, or hungry, or who knows what. I confess this to Shana, who tells me it's normal. As a patient man, it feels horrible. But having been in crisis mode for 2 months now, I feel physically and emotionally beat, like, there's small bits of glass moving around in my veins. How much longer will this go on?
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