halloween

For Halloween, Shana was a nun; I dressed as a priest. We pushed Nate around in a stroller. He wore a bumblebee costume.

10/29/09

Nate's personality is kind of possibly maybe coming through. He's a good eater, a decent sleeper, a bit needy and comfortable out in the world in public even in loud places. He's sweet but not a pushover. The family is getting into a nice rhythm of sorts. Nate is with Shana and Simma for most of the day. He's getting good love and attention from both and that allows him to be mostly agreeable and content. Mostly anyway. At night he's hanging with me until he eats and gets a new diaper at 1AMish, where he's then swaddled and put into the car seat in the basonnette in the bedroom. He sleeps until 4am where Shana feeds him and then brings him back to sleep on her chest until 7-8ish. Repeat. It's not a terrible schedule for both of us and I am not a walking zombie like many parents. For that I am eternally grateful. No joke.

My spirits are good these days. I feel like a real adult what with worrying about work, money and my kid. My band Brother Josephus is currently touring in Alabama and heading towards NOLA which seems especially cruel. But I'm not depressed. Shana and I are a good team and I love my boy. That feels nice.

This picture was taken this morning. Shana brought Nate into the bedroom and I took this before showering. With his white swaddle, he was lost in sea of white blankets and pillows. Except for his little green pacifier, you could miss him...

3 moshans

The Grandpa and Nana babysat for Nate tonight. It was the first time Shana and I were able to get out of the house and hang. It was fun. Before we left, the moshan men took a pic...

Gladiators

Last night was not easy; a set back for sure from the last two nights that were pretty good (were they, I can't really remember?). Nate had a full day with Shana and evening with me of body to body contact (laying on our chests sleeping and content), setting up what I thought would be a typical late night of feeding, pooping and 3 hour sleeps. Shana didn't leave the couch all day in fact for fear that Nate would fuss. Wasn't it easier to watch movies with Nate on her chest rather than try and do anything around the apartment?

But last night turned out to be a battle, as Nate was hungry an hour after his 10pm bottle. That threw us off. I got mad at him. I was gruff. I was unsympathetic. I fed him but not all that lovingly. What was my problem? The kid was hungry. Why am I upset at him? Nate fell asleep swaddled in his crib at 2AMish -- and made it to 4AM where Shana took it from there -- but I was not the most patient dad in the world. Ugggg.

Nate is not a difficult kid and yet I am more short tempered than I thought I would be as a dad. I gotta do better. It's not his fault. He's just hungry or gassy or something else equally as innocent. I get hung up on the schedule I think. He SHOULD be sleeping. He SHOULD be quiet. I've got to cut him a break. I will keep trying...

Just the Two of Us

Shana had an appointment this morning so it's just me and Nate. I feel fairly rested with 6 hours sleep. I've had my shower and coffee as Nate sucked on his pacifier and made groaning "ehh" noises. He's now on the little blue chair that makes ocean sounds and floats bubbles around a scene of 2 tropical fish and a starfish -- technically another fish I guess. The important thing is that the fish are not realistic and as a result Nate is not impressed or doesn't notice or both. I don't think he loves the chair with its stupid "soothing vibration" option. It never soothes him. Oh, wait, check it out, I am definitely right about this, Nate does not like the chair. He's starting to squirm. He's crying. Ugggg.

Hmmm, let's try the swinging chair...

OK, that didn't work.

Wait, here's Grandma Simma at the door. So much better than 3 stupid fish!!

Rallying

Shana says Nate was irritable most of the day yesterday, which changed his feeding timing, which saw him gobble down milk at 8:15PM. What should we do? Should we wake him up and feed him at 10PM so as to get us to the favored 1:00AM feeding time?? What would James Bond do??? It's heavy shit!!

The answer for us was to let the boy sleep and see what happens. Together Nate and I watched HBO and Frontline and Southpark. Nate enjoyed it for sure and then passed out on the couch like a drunk, sleeping until 1AM, a nice 4 hour stretch. I then fed and changed him while he was still dazed from sleep. Then I put him down in the car seat/bassinette combo where he made “ehh” noises for 15 minutes or so while Shana and I held our breath and then he went to bed until 4 like a good little guy. Shana fed and changed him and then he woke up at 5:30AM. Those hours – 5AM to 7AM – we just can’t seem to solve.

It is the following morning now and Simma just arrived. Nice. She and Nate are looking out the window. Simma is holding Nate out in front of her and Nate is trying to clock her in her face. He does not have the reach yet. Yet.

Good Night, Bad Late Night

Nate Dawg is hanging out in his crib now. It’s 9:30AM. He had a pretty good day yesterday. He was sleeping for much of it but when he was awake, he was alert and fairly happy. We play a new game where he lays on my chest trying to keep his head up. I implore him to balance himself but he has trouble, and essentially tumbles (gently I am guiding him of course) onto pillows on my left and right. He does not cry when he spins over onto the pillow onto his back. I put him right back up on his stomach and he tries to lift his head and balance himself some more. Signs of a work ethic? Signs of a third baseman who can dive in the hole AND down the line? Signs of someone who enjoys falling onto soft pillows?

Last night Nate went out with Shana, Bobby – who flew in from Geneva to meet Nate – and me to the Argentinian restaurant around the corner. Nate’s feeding schedule hinted at disaster, but the boy powered through. Very impressive. The restaurant lovingly accommodated a stroller and the night was fun. Bobby gave Nate a Swiss flag shirt and then left at 8:30pm for Alana’s, leaving Shana to sleep and me and Nate to watch the Jets play the Dolphins. Nate fed at 9ish, which put us off our little feeding schedule. Nate needed to make it to 1AM if we were to have any chance of sleeping in shifts. He fell into a deep sleep, which made changing him easy. I then put him in the car seat in the bassinette in the bedroom and he woke up hungry at 1AM. What a good kid!

But I awoke at 830am this morning to learn from Shana that the two of them had a rough night, that Nate awoke at 330am and never really settled down leaving the two to sleep in ugly 10-15 minute patches. I just changed him and put him in his crib. He’s listening to Tom Waits now.

Warm beer and cold women, I just don’t fit in / every joint I stumbled into tonight / that’s just how its been / all these double knit strangers with / gin and vermouth and recycled stories / in the naugahyde booths

1 Month Birthday

Nate just had his month birthday. He is a tick over 8 lbs and gaining some good baby fat. We thought we figured him out – scheduling feedings, pacifier, swing, swaddle would do the trick – but the last couple of days he’s been cranky during the day and night. We figured we didn’t have a mushy sleepy baby but we were breathing a sigh of relief that he wasn’t going to be super difficult. On the easy baby scale, 10 being the easiest, we pegged him for an 8. The last 2 days brings that number to 5. During the early morning and even during the day, he’s squirming around making these “this sucks”-like “Ehhh” noises, signaling discomfort. During the night, he won’t settle down and sleep. The swing doesn’t work. Alone time in the crib with the stuffed blue elephant doesn’t work. The swaddle to his neck doesn’t work. 2 nights ago I put him in a full swaddle, put a pacifier in his mouth and put him in a swing with white noise blasting into his little ears. 4 calming functions going on simultaneously! I was sure he’d be in his deepest sleep to date. But no, he was fussy. He wants contact. So I gave it to him. We slept on the couch from 3am to 7am. It sounds sweet in retrospect but at the time, it was exhausting. You don’t sleep deeply with a baby on your chest. At least I don’t.

Nate is lifting his head, showing some good strength there. He’s also shown great poise in public. Last night in fact, for Ron’s 66^th birthday, we brought him to Radaghast, a German beer hall packed with people drinking beer and eating a variety of sausages cuddling with hot sauerkraut and French fries with a 4 kinds of mustards for dipping. Delicious! Nate slept in the stroller on the way there, slept while we ate, and then slept on the way home. What a rock star. Could Nate be comfortable with noise and people? And last night, we put Nate in the car seat and put that in the bassinette. He did much better. Maybe that car seat is the answer…